Archive for the ‘Avatars’ Category

Excuse Me, Is That A Poleaxe In Your Back?

Monday, May 24th, 2010

I’m often asked by friends to give my thoughts and recommendations on various MMOs. Usually this isn’t too difficult. Having played so many different online games over the years, it’s easy for me to assess a game’s strengths and weaknesses. What I find more difficult to quantify is the game that has all the right elements, but somehow loses its appeal over time. This is often caused by something that should be completely inconsequential. I call this phenomenon the Niggling Pixel Effect.

Are you naturally blond?
Does your eyebrows EXACTLY match your hair?

I originally wrote about Alganon back in December. Although the developers have since revamped the UI and some of the other art assets to make it look less like a WoW clone, the overall game play remains pretty standard MMO fantasy fare. Which, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. Aside from the usual glitches and bugs that plague every new MMO, it is a solid, palatable game.

Since Alganon is free-to-play after its initial purchase, I’ve spent the past 6 months leveling up a cleric. At first I found the game to be a pleasant, snack-like diversion, similar to that bag of Doritos you grab from the vending machine in the middle of the afternoon. It’s the type of game you play when you can’t (or don’t want) to pay for a subscription to the full course meal of a ‘real’ MMO. But as I progressed through the first ten levels, I found that my desire to play the game was steadily decreasing. It was then that I realized that I was suffering from the Niggling Pixel Effect.

First it was my avatar’s face. Apparently designing attractive human faces in video games is no easy feat, because ugly avatars are everywhere in the land of MMOs. Since you spend the majority of your time looking at the back of your avatar, an ugly face can sometimes be ignored. But over time I found myself groaning every time I logged into the game and saw my avatar’s ugly mug staring back at me.

Nothing says 'medieval fantasy' like brown latex pants and sneakers.

Next came my character’s clothing. I realize that it’s standard procedure in fantasy games for your character to begin her journey in rags and eventually become the MMO equivalent of Liberace. But I found the clothing in Alganon to be not only unattractive, but anachronistically distracting. The setting of the game is supposed to be psuedo-medieval, yet my character is wearing a brown latex wetsuit? Strike two.

Finally, there was the poleaxe. Initially my character’s weapon was Velcro’ed across her back in the usual video game fashion. But after a particular patch was installed, my character suddenly found her poleaxe buried into the middle of her back. If this is a glitch, the developers have not been in a hurry to fix it. She’s looked this way for months. Strike three – you’re out.

These are all relatively minor issues that other players may be able to overlook. But the Niggling Pixel Effect is different for each player, and the ugly faced, wetsuit-wearing, inappropriately-placed poleaxe carrying avatar became unplayable for me.

What is your Niggling Pixel?

The Uncanny Silicone Valley

Friday, February 5th, 2010

I’ve always appreciated the amount of character customization that Cryptic provides in their games. There are so many options and choices available that creating a hero in their City is almost a mini game in itself.

Because of this precedent, I eagerly looked forward to the character creation portion of their new MMO, Star Trek Online. And I certainly wasn’t disappointed. If I want to create an 8′ tall blue hermaphrodite alien named Tapioca, with antennae and fake boobs, I can do it.

What? Wait a minute… Why does Tapioca have fake boobs?

Or, a better question might be: Why do developers feel the need to provide an option for breast size in their games?

Ok, let’s for a moment try to pretend that we’re all adults, shall we? Breasts are certainly part of the human female anatomy. And I suppose the argument could be made that allowing for changes in breast size provides a greater degree of individuality for your avatar. But what I don’t understand is why the inevitable video game breast-slider ranges in sizes from ‘above average’ to ‘pontOOns’.

In every MMO that I’ve played, I attempt to create an avatar that looks as much like me as possible. I’m 5’9″ tall, weigh 150 lbs., and according to the friendly staff at Victoria’s Secret, I wear a size 36B bra. (Yes, I know – way more information that you could possible ever want about me, but there’s a point to this.) Rarely am I able to create an avatar that comes even close to resembling my real-life measurements. Surprisingly, Aion provided the widest range of sizes, with a slider that actually allowed for – gasp – small breasts!

The crotch slider.


At its core, I believe that the existence of the breast slider speaks more to the inherent sexism that still exists in gaming today, than to any desire to provide more customization options. You never see a ‘crotch slider’ to change the size of the male avatar’s bulge, do you? And if you really wanted to offer players a wider range of choices, why not provide the breast slider for avatars of either gender? After all, most of these games are about fantasy and fiction, aren’t they? Why should this fantasy potential only cater to adolescent boys?

Maybe someday in the future video games will be an equal opportunity playground, where the female form is not objectified to any greater degree than the male form.

And maybe someday the word ‘noob’ will be considered quaint and old-fashioned.

Communication Barriers

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

I love Lord of the Rings Online. The pastoral quality of the game world makes me want to crawl inside my monitor and have a picnic.

Ok, maybe not in Angmar. But definitely in the Shire. They even have rainbows there.

Unfortunately, one of the game’s biggest assets – a rich and detailed game world that remains true to its source material – is also one of its biggest drawbacks. Transportation in LotRO is a giant pain in a blogmal’s behind. To their credit, Turbine has made improvements to the transportation and fast-travel mechanisms within the game since its launch. But LotRO remains a giant world that’s difficult to traverse. Which as a player lends a sense of isolation to the overall experience.

The game does provide personal mounts when your character reaches level 35. Having a mount certainly makes getting from point A(ngmar) to point B(reeland) a little easier, but there are some weird game mechanic quirks related to communication and transportation that, if not annoying, at least provide some unintentional humor.

One of these quirks is the inability to send more than one item through the mail at a time. I guess the entire mail system of Middle Earth is run by hobbits who have a low carrying capacity. This restriction is particularly expensive for crafters who want to move items around between their characters. Those postal hobbits have made a fortune off of me!

The second quirk worth mentioning is the inability to interact with NPCs – or do anything – while you’re on a mount. If you want to check your mail, turn in a quest, or sell that 20 pounds of sickle-fly filth that’s taking up room in your backpack for no apparent reason, you MUST dismount.

Why? Who knows. My guess is that someone forgot to tell them that the reins are supposed to go in the horse’s mouth – not yours.

The Virtual Glass Ceiling

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

I’m well known among my friends for being a feminist. I’m quick to point out a gender stereotype or inequality wherever I encounter it. And I champion equal rights with a gusto that borders on fanaticism.

Unfortunately, my chosen hobby/addiction has a LOT of catching-up to do in this particular area, and no place is this more evident than in Mythic Entertainment’s Warhammer Online.

Based upon Games Workshop’s Warhammer Fantasy setting, Warhammer Online contains the usual fantasy races of Dwarf, Human and Elves, along with Greenskins (Orcs & Goblins), Chaos (a demi-human race), and Dark Elves (regular Elves who shop at Hot Topic).

The game has a total of 24 different classes to choose from – which would be groovy, except for the fact that 4 of these classes are gender-specific, with 3 of the 4 being available to male characters only.

Really? Seriously? Even in my fantasy games I can’t have gender-neutrality?

[insert grumbling and fist-shaking]

I’m not the first to complain about this, and there has been much speculation as to why Mythic Entertainment chose to make these class exclusions. My best guess is that Mythic assumed that their audience (primarily male) would not be interested in playing some of the ‘uglier’ classes as a female character and wanted to conserve art resources by excluding them.

Regardless of the reason, in retaliation for this obvious virtual injustice I decided to create the most effeminate, girly Chaos Marauder possible, named Peony. I insisted upon dyeing every piece of Peony’s armor PINK and would tell anyone who asked (and even some who didn’t) that Peony preferred to watch Oprah and arrange flowers, but had agreed to fight in the war because someone had stolen her entire Pink Pony collection.

Take THAT, Mythic Entertainment! Hell hath no fury like a Peony without her pony. (Or a girl gamer without a proper female Chaos Marauder.)

No Sexy For You

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

I feel a little weird complaining about an MMO’s lack of sexy, half-dressed female avatars. I mean, let’s face it; almost every Korean MMO on the market has squeaky-voiced, scantily-clad lingerie models who inevitably wear spikey high-heeled shoes. (Forget fighting dragons. How do you run through grass in those things?)

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a prude, nor am I opposed to adult content, or chain mail bikinis. I do think that female characters are often objectified in fantasy games of any stripe, so I appreciate MMOs that provide female avatars with sensible clothing, like Lord of the Rings Online, or Dark Age of Camelot.

But if there’s one game where I would not expect my female avatar to look like a refugee from an Amish commune, it would be Age of Conan. Sure, you start the game lying on a beach in your underwear, but your very first piece of scavenged armor or clothing is decidedly… conservative. And for the next 20 levels your character will bear an uncanny resemblance to your mom.

Chopping Wood In Your Underpants

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

My mother always told me to wear clean underwear in case I needed to chop down trees.OK. Let’s just get this out of the way right now: I HATE PvP!

Yes, I realize that making this acknowledgment is akin to screaming at the top of your lungs, “I’m a giant pussy!” But I just don’t “get” PvP. It’s not fun for me. I simply have no desire to beat up other people and take their lunch money. I’d rather decorate my in-game house.

So what was I doing playing Darkfall, an MMO that hubristically bills itself as “THE player versus player” game? Who the hell knows? I’m easily lured by pretty in-game screen caps.

Here’s a short quiz for you: Did you bully the other kids on the playground in 5th grade? Do you secretly wish you could beat up people in the grocery store and steal their Twinkies? Do you enjoy painfully unintuitive game interfaces and the complete lack of a tutorial? Then Darkfall is the game for you! It is every sadomasochist’s wet dream.

Darkfall has full looting with corpse retrieval. This means that when your character dies (which, if you’re me, happens every 10 minutes), a tombstone is left in your place that contains ALL of your equipment. Everything. Which can then be gleefully looted by any nearby player. Meanwhile, you resurrect at the nearest bind point wearing nothing but your skivvies and a interminable sense of shame.

Quickly realizing that I was more of a “gankEE” than a “gankER”, I decided to join a clan (guild) as a full-time crafter. Resource nodes in the game are unlimited. Essentially, if it’s a tree, you can chop it. If it’s a rock, you can mine it. But since the potential for being attacked and subsequently looted while chopping a tree is exceptionally high (The game hijacks the camera while harvesting a node, so you can’t see if someone sneaks up behind you. Because we all know that when you’re chopping wood, you lose your ability to turn your head. Right?) wearing any armor while doing so becomes impractical.

The end result? I spent an entire month hiding in remote areas of the game chopping wood. In my underpants.

At least they were clean.