A Day Late & A Dollar Short

Realms Online is a good example of an idiom my grandfather used to say when I was a kid: A day late and a dollar short. Too little. Too late. Too… meh.

Created by Argentinian developer NGD Studios, Regnum Online was originally released in South America in 2007. According to its Wikipedia entry, it was one of the first online games ever published in Argentina. Which makes me wonder what on earth the good people of Buenos Aires ever did to deserve such a boring wreck of a game. American publisher GameSamba released it as a free-to-play MMO here in the US earlier this month, under the name “Realms Online”. Because, you know, the American market needs more out-dated, third-rate F2P MMOs? And also, we can’t read Latin?

While most MMOs make some pretense of lore, Regnumalms Online decided that back story was for wussies and dumps you straight into the game with no context or tutorial. I couldn’t even find any information about the game’s mythology on their website, which is a rather surprising omission. These cut-rate F2P MMO’s always have some ponderous, generic, vaguely complicated back story. Maybe you have to pay Sambas for the privilege.

Realsmgnum Online boasts that it has 3 realms, 9 “fully customizable” player races (I could not put pants on any of my female characters, so I’m not sure how they define “fully” or “customizable”), and 6 classes. This might be impressive if it wasn’t for the fact that Dark Age of Camelot did it better – and six years earlier.

One review of this game stated that its RvR aspects were enjoyable, even if the PVE portion were “lackluster”. I never got that far. I spent the first 20 minutes of the game trying to figure out why my interface disappeared whenever I entered combat. (Answer: The tab key was bound to the ‘hide interface’ function by default.) By the time I got my keys remapped, my avatar had already fallen asleep.

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3 Responses to “A Day Late & A Dollar Short”

  1. Serrenity says:

    Ha! Ear-muffs. I love it. Always enjoy reading your posts – good to see them back :-)

  2. Jarenth says:

    Can you actually play either a goat-headed man or a blue-skinned dwarf in this game?

    Because if so, it would score a lot of brownie points, right there.

  3. acronix says:

    Hey, you are talking badly about a game made in my country! I feel the obligation to answer you this: fellow men of our capitol actually like this boring wrecks.

    Regnum is quite popular down here. I tried it once, even though it looked ugly and I knew that anything made here had to suck, and if it didn`t suck, it would be illegal. And if it didn`t suck and was not illegal, then it would be imported.
    The economic situation makes people refuse to purchase and pay subscription based mmos (or just pay legally: we are all a bunch of pirates). We are also quite competitive or, more accurately, hostile to each other: anything with a heavy focus on PvP is welcomed and embraced. That`s why we have so many Lineage 2 private servers.
    So a game that is not only free, but let us gank the hell out of each other and is made locally? Score!

    Also, I wouldn`t be surprised if those quest text were written in spanish and then copy pasted the translation from google. That`s something ours, as much as tango.

    And yetl, I wasn`t expecting a blue haired dwarf whose beard is brown. My countrymen keep surpising me. *facepalms*

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